Did she really say that to me?!

...sometimes we all need to practice a little mindfulness when speaking to others... (it is a daily practice for me)...

for example....

first, let me preface this by saying, there is no reason for me to say where i was or with whom i was speaking. i am certain this lovely person meant no harm when she was speaking to me... but sometimes we let our words spill out without a thought of how they may be perceived... oops!

as i was leaving this particular establishment, as my appointment was over, our discussion turned to age & children. by the way, is this a common subject amongst women? i suppose it is. anyway, before i knew it the following words were shooting in my direction, "girl, you better hurry up and find a man so you can have kids!!" and here's my favorite part, "what's the matter? can't you find someone?" really?! did she just say that to me?! i took it all in with grace and explained that my options were a bit limited at the moment... i am pleased where i am in life... when it is the right time all will fall into place... blah, blah, blah... you know the script.

now, here's my two cents! single, independent women are amazingly beautiful & strong. yes, we do know how to make it on our own two feet, and for whatever reason, at this particular time in our lives (whenever that may be) ... we are single. circumstances for each woman are completely different. now, speaking for myself on this matter.... yes, here i am, 33 & single.... and loving it! does this mean i don't want to get married or have kids? does this mean that i hold the opinion that "i don't need a man to support me." goodness, no. i do look forward to the day when i meet that someone that i can share my life with. it's a treasured love between two people that takes time to nurture and grow. so, no, i'm not about to run out and chase after the next tom, dick, or harry just so that i can be married and start popping out some kids.

i appreciate this time by myself because it gives me the opportunity to know who i truly am. besides, how can i expect to know what i want in a husband when i don't know what i want in myself?! i'm learning those things... and i'm learning more and more about those qualities that i desire in a man that is to be my partner for life. i am reminded of one of my favorite quotes by James Dillet Freeman - "May you always need one another, Not so much to fill your emptiness but as to help you know your fullness." Beautiful.

so, yeah, 33 with 35 coming around in a couple of years. and then comes 40... 5 years later. my fellow women (or anyone for that matter) don't live your lives by a timeline. you'll devastate yourself it if doesn't all work out. give yourselves room to grow and wiggle. nothing is as important as right now. so, i may reach 40 and still be single...or i may find myself married at 40... whatever the path, it's mine to live and enjoy in each moment. and what about adoption?! there are so many children out there who need a good home. and if i don't get married, why couldn't i be a single yoga instructor/photographer/super mom working to bring peace to the world?! it could happen. and i'll admit here... it'd be lovely to tackle all of those wonderful challenges with a great man by my side...

so, that's my soapbox. i'll step down from it now. i'll just make this last point that let's all practice a little mindfulness in our speaking to others. set it as your intention for today, for the week, for the month... or even just this hour. i am strong, i'm independent and i can take care of myself and i have a lot of fun doing it... but sometimes unintentional comments such as the one i received... they do break my heart just a little bit... so, BE MINDFUL and learn to always speak from a place of love.

Namaste,Jen