Mixed feelings overcame me the few days prior to my class as I started to wonder if I was truly capable of leading my students through a practice. Had I learned enough through my teachers and through my own practice? Would the words escape me as I stepped onto my mat? Who am I to teach this ancient practice from so long ago? I remembered the wise words of a yoga teacher from DC (we have only spoken by phone and have not yet met), "it does not matter how long you have been practicing yoga... as long as your intention is there and it is a good one... you will find the ability to teach what you know to your students." My intention to share my love of yoga and to bring inner peace to my students was certainly there; however, much fear took root within that I would turn into a bumbling idiot. Tadasana? What does that mean?! Would I forget such a basic and foundational posture?!
With my first sequence in hand, armed with my bag of blankets (actually, 4 rugs that were to be used as props), 1 block, 1 strap, 1 CD of yoga music, my yoga mat, and my chime of compassion... I headed to the church to prepare the space for my class. Nervousness abounded within as I began setting the folded chairs aside. Chair by chair, row by row I worked in a hurried fashion to clear the space. Grabbing the hymnals and stacking them off to the side, I began to ask myself why I was in such a hurry. Little beads of sweat actually began to form along my hairline. "Oh goodness, I didn't go to the church earlier this afternoon to turn the air down and it is 80 degrees in the room. My students will surely have my head for this!" Hurry, hurry, hurry. And then I stopped to ask msyelf, "Why am I not enjoying this simple moment of preparing the space for my class?" In that moment, I came to realize that there is a sacredness and a meditative presence in being mindful in all that I do. I slowed myself down, placing unforced hands upon the chair and with a gentle push, I cradled it into a standing posture. With loving hands I set each hymnal, one on top of the other, as if holding an ancient sacred text. As my movements became more meditative in nature, I began to focus within and find the stillness and peace that would carry me through the class. I returned to my intention towards my students and believed that just as I take gentle care in preparing the space... so shall I be gentle with them.
I ceremoniously unrolled my mat, taking great care in unpacking my chime... preparing as if this lesson was going to be in front of the great yogi masters of the past. I had no idea who would be coming nor how many. I settled myself into Sukhasana and since I had a few minutes to spare was delighted to take a moment and meditate. I called upon all the great teachers before me and the teacher within to assist me and to provide me with the knowledge that I could feel... was already there. I put trust in the Divine that there was no longer any need to worry or be nervous... my intentions were pure and good... and with my exhale I released all concerns to God.
The students began to come one after another. I recall hoping for 5 students for my first class. I thought it was a perfectly sound number to begin with. I was blessed to share the space with twice the amount - 12 in all! Interestingly enough, the more students that appeared the less nervous I became. I could feel the warmth and support of each and every lady that walked through the door. 12 students, 1 teacher... all of us coming from different paths meeting at Unity and sharing the space as One. It is a beautiful thing! There was much excitement in the air as the ladies were greeting one another and catching up. I thought, "well, now I have to get these ladies centered, grounded and into the presence of mind to begin cultivating their inner peace." All the while, laughter and talking circled the room like wild horses on the horizon. Hmmm... this, I suppose, was to be my first challenge of the hour. Okay, bring it on!
I asked the class to find their place on the floor. As they began to settle in I welcomed their attendance and gave a small introduction to who I was and why I chose to lead a gentle, beginner's practice. I consider myself a new student to yoga... practicing now for a year and a half. My teaching comes from my personal practice and that is where I teach from... a beginner's mind. I find the gentle and slow approach provides safety to new students and gives their bodies permission to begin moving in ways that, it perhaps, has not moved in a long time.
With 12 pairs of eyes looking at me and waiting on my instruction I began to feel the nervous butterflies bouncing around one another in my stomach.... "deep breaths, Jennifer." A nice, long inhale as I cultivated the warmth and support of my students... and a nice, long exhale as I allowed the escape of my tiny butterflies and watched as they found their freedom silently dancing their way across the room. With peace and a new-found sense of assuredness I brought the class into their first posture of the hour - Sukhasana/Easy Pose. I led them through Centering, gently taking their attention from the outside world and bringing them to an awareness of their inner body. "Did they find that sense of inner awareness? If not immediately, it's okay. It takes patience and practice; however, I know they will begin to find their way to inner peace. I intend that for all of my students." Inhale... exhale... After a few minutes of silent meditation, I brought the class together by setting the intention for the practice: Resting in the presence of pure peace, I experience serenity within my soul.
With our intention before us... I led my first public yoga class of 12 amazing ladies.
...and so my adventures, on the mat, continue...bringing me ever closer to Union with the Divine and the Breath of Life...
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti (may there be peace, peace, peace)...
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